Confidence plays a huge part in so many areas of our lives. Why is it that some people seem to naturally act and feel more confident, whilst others seem to struggle? On the other hand, when you are confident you feel happier, inspire confidence in others and are generally more successful.
Everyone lacks confidence from time to time so what does confidence actually mean. Here’s the definition from the Oxford dictionary.
Self-confidence – A feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement.
Confidence varies between individuals and is something that I personally have had to work on. Identifying the reason for lack of confidence can help you not only understand it but it will also help you improve it.
There are many causes of low confidence. Some are situational and others are more a feeling that impacts most of what you do.
Here are just a few:
All of these causes lead to forming certain beliefs you hold about yourself. It is these beliefs (true or false) that will continue to hold you back until they are addressed.
For me, having health problems is probably what has had the biggest impact on my self-confidence. Struggling with chronic pain and depression as a teenager meant that I was not able to socialise very much with my friends. The invitations to go out grew less and I became to feel quite isolated. For a long time I felt a failure and it’s only now after working on my own confidence that I truly feel good about who I am and what I can offer the world.
Your story will be different, but if I can become more confident so can you.
It all starts with self-awareness. Awareness brings understanding. With new understanding you will start to see the world differently and your behaviour will change.
Take a moment to really think about the following questions:
If you answered yes to any of these questions then you could probably benefit from a confidence boost.
Here are some quick things you can do today that will start to boost your confidence.
Practice showing the world the real you, not who you think they want to see. You will soon find that the friends that matter will stick around. When you start making decisions and acting in a way that’s congruent making decisions will become easier. Your dreams will become real and your purpose will become clearer.
Make a list of all your achievements and best qualities
Don’t worry about being modest. This is the time to be your own best friend. You don’t have to show it to anyone. If you find this difficult ask a trusted friend what your best qualities are.
Your physiology affects your emotional state. Standing up tall with your head held high really can make a difference. This is especially important if you’re lacking the confidence to deliver presentations. You’ll be surprised just how much a difference this can make.
Start a business or find a purpose
One thing that has really boosted my confidence is having my own business. When you are getting paid for something you’ve made or a service you deliver you will start to see the value you offer to the world.
A word of caution though; you don’t want to fall into the trap of needing validation from others either financially or emotionally. Just helping other people also has a way of making you feel good. You don’t have to have a full time business. It can be just something that earns you a bit of extra money while you are working or bringing up a family.
Seek professional help
You don’t have to do it alone. There are lots of coaches and counsellors that have both the qualifications and experience to help you. You just have to be willing to accept it.
If you’re fed up trying to do it alone you can book a coaching session with me.
Are you lacking in confidence, or do you have any confidence boosting tips of your own you’d like to share? Leave me a comment below and let me know.
If you would prefer to chat privately or would like to know how coaching could help send me a message. I’d love to hear from you.
Life coaching is a relatively new field in the area of personal development and I often get asked “What is coaching and how can it help me?” There are some people who speak quite negatively about it and recently I read a comment on a friends LinkedIn profile saying “Coaching is easy answers for weak minded individuals.”
So I decided to answer this in a blog post to really explain what coaching is and why it’s so powerful?
It’s recognised in the sporting industry that if you want to be successful in a particular sport you need a coach. All the top athletes have a coach from an early age and that coach plays a huge role in their success.
Why is it then that some people fail to recognise the importance of coaching in other areas of their lives?
Coaching is about empowerment and a designed alliance between the coach and the client. It helps the client determine what their goals are and how they can achieve those goals. On the surface it can look like just a conversation but It’s a conversation with a purpose. It is often the actions that are taken between sessions that ensure the most progress. It enables the client to view their life from a different perspective and give them the confidence to move forward.
While the fundamentals of coaching remain the same there are different types of coaching which are identified by the area you would like to focus on.
There are lots of benefits of having a coach; here are just a few.
No, it is not a miracle cure to everyone’s problems. You have to not only be open to new possibilities but willing to take action. It doesn’t have to be huge leaps but you won’t get anywhere standing still.
It doesn’t matter whether you are hugely successful or struggling coaching can help.
I can’t give you a definitive answer about what results YOU would get because it depends on your coach and your willingness to take action. However, the International Coach Federation did a study and got the following the results.
Source: ICF Global Coaching Client Study was commissioned by the ICF but conducted independently by PricewaterhouseCoopers.
If you are to achieve these kinds of results it is important to find the right coach. There are a number of ways to do this. Here are just a few:
If you’re thinking about getting a coach and think I might be the coach for you. Send me a message and I will see if I can help.
I’d love to hear your stories about coaching. Do you agree or disagree with what I have to say and what are your experiences with coaching?